Intense... Amazing... Earth-shattering... Words used by women to describe their orgasms. But for many men - and some women - the female orgasm is mysterious, confusing and bewildering.
The confusion often starts because women can experience different kinds of orgasms, and those orgasms can be achieved in different ways. Among experts, there is no consensus when it comes to how many different kinds there are. The most commonly known orgasms are the clitoral and vaginal. It was Freud who declared that sexually mature women have only vaginal orgasms, and that clitoral orgasms were inferior and immature. To this day, some women still feel that something is "wrong" if orgasm can't be reached through penile penetration alone. The truth however, is that very few women can achieve this. It does not make her inferior, immature or frigid, or her partner unskilled or inadequate.
Most women have the ability to orgasm through clitoral stimulation and this is the most common orgasm that women experience. The clitoris is an amazing organ - its only purpose is to provide sexual stimulation. Clitoral orgasms can be very intense, sending a surge of pleasure throughout the entire body. There's a feeling of release and contentment that follows a clitoral orgasm and some women - myself included - enjoy penetration afterwards. Interestingly, the clitoris can also play a part in other types of orgasm as well. For many women, vaginal orgasms are more likely to happen if clitoral stimulation takes place first. For tips on clitoral stimulation, refer to my previous clit articles (part 1 and part 2).
The vaginal orgasm is described as feeling "deeper" than the clitoral orgasm. It takes longer to build and usually needs prolonged rhythmic thrusting to achieve. Many women describe vaginal orgasms as a "pressure inside that grows and then explodes," radiating intense waves of pleasure throughout the body. Vaginal orgasm leaves women feeling satisfied not just physically, but emotionally as well. I have a theory that vaginal and clitoral orgasms both originate in the clitoris, but in different areas of the clitoris. The clitoris extends deep into a woman's body, running down each side of the vulva, so I can't help but speculate that clitoral orgasms originate from the tip of the clitoris, while vaginal orgasms originate from parts of the clitoris that lie deeper in the body.
Another type of vaginal orgasm is the g-spot orgasm. There's a lot of controversy surrounding the g-spot - even its very existence is questioned. Many women claim that g-spot orgasms are very satisfying and intense. Like vaginal orgasms, g-spot orgasms take longer to build. Women describe the feeling as a deep pressure that builds until the entire vagina explodes, followed by a strong feeling of euphoria. A g-spot orgasm is also linked to female ejaculation (squirting). For more detail, refer to my g-spot article.
Backdoor-wise, the anal orgasm is described as a very intense feeling that starts in the nerves of the anus and creates pleasurable sensations in the vagina, g-spot and clitoris. Stimulation of the clitoris at the same time as stimulation of the anus, and/or vaginal penetration can heighten the experience. Women describe it as a very deep, pleasurable feeling. Women who experience these orgasms are more likely to engage in regular anal sex.
There are several kinds of lesser known orgasms. One of them, the breast orgasm, occurs from stimulation of the breasts and the nipples. Many women feel a nerve connection to their genitals from their nipples and nipple stimulation can trigger uterine contractions. But while many women experience sexual excitement through their nipples, the number that experience orgasm through them is small.
Oral orgasms, those that occur from activities involving her mouth, are also rare. This orgasm can happen when she is using her mouth for kissing, licking, sucking and even performing oral sex. Women who report orgasms from oral activity say that sexual stimulation begins in the lips and then moves to the genitals and even the whole body. This orgasm produces a sort of tingly, sensual feeling that builds in the roof of the mouth.
Getting right away from physical sensations, mental orgasms are triggered only by the mind. There is no touching of the body, though there can be visual or auditory stimulation. It's long been believed that, for women, sex begins in the brain, and this type of orgasm shows how powerful the mind can be. This type of orgasm is something I have worked on with varying levels of success. It's a good way for women to hone their sexual mind, let go of sexual mental blocks and translate their sexual mind into their sexual body. It's not so much a different orgasm, as an orgasm triggered in a different way.
Most women won't experience all of these types of orgasm. But in no way should a woman (or a man) feel inadequate if she doesn't reach orgasm of any particularly kind easily (or at all). Be aware that while a man's lovemaking skills are greatly appreciated and needed, a woman is responsible for her own orgasms. She needs to figure out what works for her and tell you what makes her toes curl. Also, many women don't need to have an orgasm every time in order to be satisfied. The closeness and excitement of a lovemaking session can in itself be very satisfying. Personally, I'm in no way dissatisfied because I don't orgasm all the time. There are different types of sexual satisfaction for women, orgasm being just one of them.
So don't judge the success of every sexual encounter on whether or not she orgasms. Do not feel you are not good enough for her if she doesn't orgasm. Some women may need to get beyond their own mental blocks and/or figure out what works for them. Relax, be playful, enjoy yourselves and experiment.
Well Hung: Death By Orgasm
More Men Prone To Orgasm Headaches
In Search Of The Male G-Spot