Firefly Talks Dicks
Firefly is a moderator and regular contributor in our Dick Talk discussion forums. Now, she is also offering her words of feminine wisdom in this regular column where she'll be addressing male matters from a woman's perspective. Want to drop Firefly a line? Email her here and mark your message for her attention.
Women and size
"Men do not realize average is really smaller than they think it is."
"The biggest turn-off for me would be a man that is fragile and insecure about his penis size."
"...it's only an issue if he has hang-ups or insecurities about it."
"It doesn't matter what a man's penis size, if he has hands that can reach her clitoris."
Straight from the horse's mouth, or in the examples above, straight from the keyboard. When asked on a number of women's Internet forums the question; "Does the size of a man's penis matter to you?" The majority of women rose up and answered with a resounding "NO!"
Let's face it, from the moment a man discovers his most wondrous appendage, he's smitten. It becomes his best friend. He plays with it, listens to its opinion, admires it, worries about it and gets into trouble with it.
But men also obsess over it. Is it long enough? Is it thick enough? How does it measure-up compared to other men? Well, let me tell you something, men are much more obsessed with their dicks then we are. Yes, we giggle and whisper over a large dick. We look, admire, wonder and are shocked by it. Women can appreciate the visual appeal of a big stiff cock. But when it comes to satisfying sex, it's more about the man than the member.
For women, a man is much more then his penis. It's who he is as a person. It's how he makes us feel and what he means to us. As one woman put it, "I never walked away from a guy any size thinking more about the size than I did whether we enjoyed ourselves. Some guys just know how to make you feel OMG regardless of the equipment."
But while size isn't a major blip on the radar for most women, extremes of size either way – very small or very large – provide, er, certain challenges to overcome. When it's very small, there is the issue of how much a woman can feel. And "too large" brings a different set of problems.
"If anything, too large is not nice. It hurts in a bad way..."
"There is such a thing as too big."
"I dated a man for a while who had a huge penis... Thankfully for me, he always came in under 5 seconds."
"Size doesn't matter unless its cervix bumpin' huge."
"...if it's way too big, that might be a problem for both of us. I don't like having my cervix pounded hard, it hurts..."
But, larger men, don't despair! The overwhelming message from women was that they were willing to work with any size – so long as they are into the man.
"If you love the man you are with, size is irrelevant."
"If you are really into a person, it can be managed."
"The man is more important than the part."
"...intimate connection is the most fulfilling and has no basis in size..."
An article I just read in Psychology Today has a great quote; "There was a discrepancy between what women desired and what they would accept in a mate. Women adapt... it seemed to cut across all variables from height to weight to penis size. It seems that 'negative' appearance factors become lost within the greater gestalt of the partner. They see past or through a less-then-ideal feature."
This means that you don't have to be physically perfect to attract a woman. She looks at the big picture - who you are and what you mean to her. When a woman takes it all into account - the fact that a man doesn't have a perfect ass, or has thinning hair, or a smaller penis, gets lost in the entirety of the man. It doesn't factor in.
Keep in mind, that just as you are different sizes on the outside, women are different sizes on the inside. One woman may present a tight fit for you, while another will be looser. How well you fit with a woman can vary. We are all individuals with different bodies, dreams, wants and needs. When a woman finds a man who cares about her, listens to her, and just does it for her, the size of his penis is very far down on her list of priorities.
Men, don't ask your partner if your size is satisfying! If she says, "Yes, you're the biggest," then you tag her as a liar. If she says, "You're big, but not the biggest," you assume she wants a bigger dick. If she says "You're the right size for me," then it sounds like a copout. No matter how a woman answers – there's no right answer!
Remember, if you can't be her biggest lover, then work on being her best lover. If a woman is into a man, the size of his penis is irrelevant. Women tend to look at the big picture - the whole man. Be the best man you can be – both in and out of the bedroom – and she will thank you for it in ways unfit to print.
Growers And Show-ers
Size Around The World
Body Image Disorder Affecting More Men