[Click the map below for a larger interactive pop-up map]
28 March 2011
Penis size map stirs controversy
by George Atkinson
Penis size has yet again shown itself to be a sensitive topic as far as men are concerned, with a new interactive map sparking controversy around the world. The world map, detailing penis size in various countries, has somewhat predictably come under fire from men in some nations concerned that the map under-represents their average national manhood measurement. National pride and penis size are inextricably linked, it would seem. Thankfully, there are, as yet, no reports of border incursions by men desperate to partake of whatever-the-hell-it-is-in-the-water that makes a big schlong in the country next door.
Some of the loudest complaints are coming from Australia, where the average erect size is reported at just 13.2cm (5.2 inches). Compared to other countries, this puts Australia at a lowly 94th on the global scale of cock enormity. The data used in the map is attributed by the map-makers to "Australia's national agency for health and welfare," but no such organization exists, say Australian men complaining about the map's accuracy.
Other comments from Australian women suggest they might just seek boyfriends in more far flung locales, with Africa being the favourite thanks to its top ranking in the penile length stakes. "Is this erect or non? My Australian ex was 18.5cm long and 5.5cm across. Looks like I'll have to move to the Congo to find similar!" quips Aussie chick Danielle.
But the Aussie men think they come out better in the area that really counts - the size of their wallets. "What about big wallet? These guys from Ecuador, Venezuela, Colombia, etc. won't make it with ozzie chicks - no matter what size they are," notes one disgruntled Aussie.
Some Australian men say that a recent road safety campaign which linked bad driving to diminutive penis size may have influenced the less than flattering size estimate for Australia.
Finally, many of each country's measurements are credited by the map's creators as "self-reported," which, according to one commentator; "Is more indicative of a country's BS factor than penis length."
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