Firefly Talks Dicks: Clit Talk (Part I)

Clit Talk (Part I - Manual Stimulation)

Imagine for a moment that your penis was between 1/8 - 3/8 of an inch in length and was hidden under folds of skin (stick with me here, guys, this isn't a horror story!). Imagine that even when the skin was pulled away, you still can't see the whole thing. Now, imagine that this organ, made for the sole purpose of sexual enjoyment, can be very temperamental - it doesn't always like to be touched. Sometimes it doesn't feel much of anything, sometimes it feels too much and sometimes it feels absolutely wonderful. Welcome to the clitoris.

You fellas really should get yourselves better acquainted with the clit. Why? Because that's where all the orgasmic action is for the vast majority of women. Very few women orgasm from penetration alone. By including the clitoris in your repertoire of lovemaking skills - you will be amping up your ability to ensure that your partner is satisfied. So here's some sure-fire tips and techniques for dealing with this tiny but powerful organ.

Most women have at one time or another, experienced the frustration of a lover diligently and passionately touching our vaginas for a long time... but in the wrong place. We squirm and wiggle one way or another, hoping that he will make better contact - yet he seems to miss it by mere millimeters. Other times, he may find the clitoris, but touches it in ineffectual ways. Not possessing a clitoris, men often have problems understanding how to handle it. Even women, in possession of one, don't always understand why it behaves the way it does. But it's important to learn as much as you can, no matter what your gender, to better enjoy the pleasures provided by a well-cared for clitoris.

Firstly, you need to know its location. Considering the confusion people feel - both men and women - when it comes to location, let's go into detail. Just as a man's penis comes in different shapes and sizes, so too do women's genitals. Each is unique and it can be challenging to find. Some are small and difficult to see or feel, while others are more prominent and easier to locate.

In order to find the clitoris you need to have a basic knowledge of female anatomy. Most people can identify the inner (labia minora) and outer labia (labia majora) - or lips. The outer lips are the fleshy folds encompassing the entire area and the inner labia are the lips tucked into them. The inner labia can vary greatly in size.

The clitoris is located where the inner lips meet above the vaginal opening. It's covered by a layer of skin called the clitoral hood - similar to the foreskin on a man. The hood protects the very sensitive clitoral glans (or "head"). Like the penis, the clitoris is packed with nerve endings and becomes engorged with blood when aroused. In most cases, the hood can be pulled back to expose the glans, but there are instances where the hood can't be retracted. The hood may extend farther out over the glans, or the opening in the hood may be too small to permit retraction. This shouldn't affect a woman's sexual pleasure.

Interestingly, most of the clitoris is located inside a woman's body. Following it in, the clitoral shaft then divides into two branches which lie on the sides of the vagina.

OK, now that we know where the clitoris is, we need to understand what to do with it. It's time to explore manual stimulation techniques! The key thing to remember is don't treat the clitoris like a small penis. Don't grab it, squeeze it vigorously or apply too much pressure.

Most people know that you don't have to be naked to stoke the fires of passion. Touch her through her clothes, but be sure it's a stroke and not a grab. Use all of your fingers to cup and stroke up and down - covering her entire vaginal area. The friction of your hand through her clothes creates anticipation and arousal. The clit starts to think; "Mmm, I'd like some more of that." You'll know you're on the right track if she arches her body and back to make closer contact with your hand.

Once you do make contact under the clothes, don't immediately focus your attack on the clitoral target. Take your time to touch her labia. Move up to caress and touch the area around the clit then back down again. Many women find direct contact uncomfortable, so focus your attention around the clit - just below or just above it, with gentle strokes and circular motions. Touching the area above the clitoris, will stimulate the clitoral shaft. You may even be able to feel it become "erect" as it fills with blood. Don't be afraid to vary pressure and speed. Take your cues from her. Watch her reactions and don't be afraid to ask her for specifics.

Remember, keep your touch light. This will work well for most women. For a woman who likes a harder touch - the light touch primes her for that more forceful contact. She'll most likely will be panting and begging for a harder touch before long. Also, be sure to use some kind of lubrication - her own preferably. Lubricants are good and saliva will also do the trick.

Once you've got her warmed-up and primed for more, you may want to get a taste of her. Most women love the feeling of oral contact. Your mouth and tongue are probably your best aids for achieving thigh-squeezing, back-arched, hips in the air earth-shattering orgasms!

In Part II, we'll get into oral sex techniques, as well as intercourse positions to best maximize clitoral satisfaction. I'll also tell you one of the most important rules to remember when stimulating the clit to orgasm.

Further reading:
Speed Of Female Arousal Surprises Scientists
Male And Female Brains React Differently To Sexy Stimuli

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