Week 11 It's been 13 weeks since I've started this program so technically this is Week 13 but I've just spent two weeks away from my dick stretcher so this is really Week 11. But strange as it may seem I've missed my little friend. Not sure why exactly. There are probably all kinds of deep and troubling reasons why I actually want to strap on this torture device but I'm not cognizant of them. I'm certainly not a masochist. I detest pain with a vehemence that would make a sissy squirm. Perhaps it's like that movie (the name escapes me) with William Devane. He plays an ex-Vietnam POW who was tortured by having his body suspended from a rope tied to his hands that were clasped behind his back. When a woman asks him how he withstood such agony he smiles that adorable William Devane smile and replies, "You gotta learn to love the rope." And I do. I love the rope.
To be fair, this thing doesn't hurt (unless it's been on too long) But it's definitely there. Over time, as you go about your busy day, it may slip into corners of your awareness but it never entirely disappears. This isn't like a wrist watch or a pair of glasses you've forgotten are sitting on top of your head. This is a hank of metal and plastic shoved down your pants and hauling on your dick. There's no risk of whipping off your pants in the hockey change room and going "Oops!"
That said, this device has proved to be remarkably versatile. I've worn it sitting, standing and lying down. I've worn it running for the bus and shoveling gravel. I've worn it in restaurants, theaters and subways cars. The only times I can't wear it is when my torso is less than perpendicular to my thighs, such as sitting on the john or riding a bike. And then only because in such positions the penis retracts (contrary to common belief it doesn't actually sit on top of your flesh, but is instead attached to your pubic bone) and the tension becomes unbearably high. The manual advises against driving with it but I've driven with it and ridden with it and it's fine. I assume this caveat was included to minimize the possibility of the wearer having his dick suddenly ripped off in an accident. The guide also advises against having sex with it but I'm frankly curious to know what kind of sex they had in mind with it because any woman you approach with this thing strapped on is going to be backing up twice as fast.
At any rate I'm back on the rack and glad of it. Next week it will be time again to assess my gains. I'm bigger. Not by much and not nearly as much as the hype may have led me to hope for but every bit counts and as the saying goes - no pain no gain. Gotta love that rope.
Catch-up with the other episodes in Paul's Extender Experience.
