Once you and your partner decide to add toys to your sexual play, how do you get started? Shopping for sex toys is much easier and more couple-friendly today than it was in the past. The internet has created a safe and easy environment; no more skulking around dingy sex shops with a bewildering array of daunting items. Online, detailed descriptions about different toys and user reviews can make the shopping fun and educational!
Start by asking yourselves some questions: What do you want to use it for? Do you want it for vibration, penetration or both? Do you want a toy that stimulates both of you at the same time? Do you want one solely for clitoral stimulation? How about anal? Or g-spot stimulation? Do you want one that's quiet? How about the material or texture it's made of? Do you want one for fun in the bath?
The choices are plentiful and varied. My advice, if you are just starting out, is to keep it simple. A vibrator for clitoral stimulation is a good place to start. They come in all shapes in sizes, from a small fingertip vibrator, to dick-shaped models. Some vibrators are only for external use, while others can work internally as well. Personally, I have a preference for dick shaped vibrators that can be used both ways. However, I prefer to use it externally for clitoral orgasms. And I like to be able to vary the speed according to what's working for me at the time. And don't forget that a vibrator can be used on the woman's clit while the man is inside of her. It adds another layer of sensation to the mix and the truth is, many women do not experience orgasm without clitoral stimulation.
A very popular choice around the world is the rabbit vibrator. The rabbit vibrator's purpose is to provide penetration and clitoral stimulation at the same time. At the base of the shaft there are soft "bunny ears" that stimulate the clitoris when the shaft is inserted. If a lady enjoys stimulation of both areas at once, this is an excellent choice!
A fun choice for hands-free clitoral stimulation is the Butterfly strap-on. Shaped like a tiny butterfly, it stimulates a woman's clit and leaves her hands free to explore you and your hands free to explore her. Remember, women love being touched all-over, not just their "hot spots."
Some women espouse g-spot stimulation, although there does seem to be some controversy over whether it actually exists! Controversy aside, a g-spot vibrator can take away some of the mystery of how to stimulate this ambiguous piece of the anatomy.
Another option for penetration is the good old battery-free dildo. If you are feeling daring, fellas, your female partner can even use a strap-on dildo on you. Some hetero men find that an uncomfortable thought, but anal play can be very satisfying. Some men enjoy the visual aspects of seeing their partner using a dildo on themselves, while others enjoy using it on her to see up-close what it looks like as she's penetrated. And remember guys, in no way, shape or form does it replace or even compete with your penis.
If a dildo for anal stimulation seems too much, you can always try a butt plug. Butt plugs are smaller and the base also flares out so they don't get "lost" inside. You can use different styles, such as plugs that squirt water or inflate. There are even butt plugs designed to specifically stimulate the man's prostate gland - sometimes called the male g-spot.
The material that your sex toy is made of may need special care. Porous materials feel more lifelike and are often shaped like the real thing. Non-porous materials include silicone and glass. They can be found in varying textures. Be sure to always keep your toys clean. Porous materials need to be cleaned more thoroughly as they can harbor bacteria. You can purchase special cleaners to take proper care of them. Non-porous materials can be kept clean with just soap and water.
Whatever the toy, use plenty of lubrication. Water and silicone based lubricants are safe to use with sex toys and are also safe to use with latex or polyurethane condoms. Lubes that contain any oil should be used with a polyurethane condom only. It really is best to avoid using oil or petroleum based lubricants as they break down latex material. Also, do not use oil-based lubricants for penetration as they can increase the chance of infections if not cleaned correctly. Silicone based lubes are waterproof but should not be used with toys containing silicone.
Toys can be used with multiple partners but there's a big "ewww" factor. If you do decide to, er, recycle, be sure to use condoms on the toys.
Sex toys can be a great way to add another dimension to your lovemaking. You've got nothing to lose and much fun to gain. Keeping sex exciting and fun guarantees many more days and years of great sex for you and your partner. But always remember; while toys are fun and an enhancement to any sexual relationship, they should not be the focus. The two most important aspects of a sexual relationship are you and your partner.
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